From surviving to thriving: How to build a meaningful and fulfilling academic career

Photo by Artur Voznenko on Unsplash

I recently caught up with one of the graduate students in our department­ over coffee—one of my favourite things to do. I love hearing how students are succeeding and paving their own way. Toward the end of our chat, as we were wrapping up, I asked if there was anything I could do to support them, or if they had any nagging questions. “Thanks,” they said. “I’m surviving.” Then they paused, as if looking for words, and said, “But, how can I thrive?”

It’s a question I hear often, and it reflects a deeper truth. When students start graduate school, they are often full of energy, possibility, and ideas. However, somewhere along the way, the light in their eyes starts to dim a little.

If you’re a graduate student, you likely feel overwhelmed. There are a few reasons for this. One is that there is just so much stuff to do: classes, the TA positions, meetings, talks, and, of course, your research. Another is that perhaps for the first time in your life, there’s no specific roadmap you can follow. Sure, there are required classes everyone has to take, and there’s a general timeline to hit certain milestones—like a reading list/comprehensive exam—but, for the most part, you are in charge. You are expected to lead your research projects and any resulting outputs (talks, presentations), and you have to set and meet your own deadlines (ideally, with your supervisor’s guidance of course). Finally, all of this is typically happening while other major life events are occurring, such as an impending marriage, grandparents or even parents falling ill and needing care, trying to plan for a family of your own, friends moving away and launching their own careers.

All of these stressors and life events can put you in a constant ‘reactive’ mode. And if you are simply reacting to whatever comes your way, then you are merely surviving. In action, this looks like pulling late nights trying to meet deadlines, or only thinking about the deadline that is right in front of you. It leads to putting off beneficial activities like exercise or booking a therapy session—or canceling on dinner with friends—because you ‘don’t have enough time today’. 

However, by meeting these challenges in a proactive manner, rather than letting external events dictate your actions, you’ll find yourself not just surviving. You will start to thrive. But how do you get there? There are four areas to consider:

Mindset Shifts

1. Acknowledge any financial and/or community support. Take stock of the resources around you. If you have financial and/or community support, take a moment to acknowledge that—it’s a gift not everyone has. And if you’re navigating graduate school without these supports, recognize the strength and resilience you’re bringing to the table.

2. Stop comparing yourself with your peers. Nearly every graduate student was the high-achieving, A+ student in university or high school; comparing yourself to your classmates is surely going to make you feel bad at some point, just like they’ll also likely feel bad at some point comparing themselves to you. And what would be the point of such comparison?  The data that you are comparing is simply not the same: you and your peers each have different ideas, projects, and lived experiences. Every journey through graduate school is unique.

3. Remember the privilege of pursuing your curiosity. Grad school is demanding, but it also gives you the rare chance to dive deeply into the questions that matter most to you. That kind of intellectual freedom is powerful—and not available to everyone. When you can, pause to appreciate that opportunity, especially if you’re juggling other responsibilities while still showing up for the work. That in itself is something to be proud of.

Planning and Productivity

4. Get clear on your strategic vision and your long-term goals. Having a well-defined purpose—your ‘why’—can get you through the hard times. Mapping out your long-term goals shows you how you will get to where you want to go, so the work doesn’t feel pointless in the moment. Instead the work will be motivating because you can see where it’s leading.

5. Define success on your own terms. This is your career; what does success look like for you and how does it align with your values?

6. Master time management.  Mapping out in advance when you will do your high priority tasks will keep you on track for your long-term goals. Remember that consistency is key in academia; for example, it’s much easier (and less depressing) to write in small, daily chunks than to write for 8 hours straight on a Saturday.

Resilience and Growth

7. Embrace failure. Setbacks happen. You’re in graduate school to learn, and we can often learn the most when we fail. Learning and adapting from failure also builds resilience and confidence for the future.

8. Celebrate progress, not perfection.  Perfection isn’t a thing. Recognize and celebrate what you are learning, what skills you have achieved, and which milestones you’ve hit.

Relationships and Support

9. Pour into your community. Make time for your peers, friends, and loved ones. Communities bring joy to your life and you can lean on them when you need support.

10. Develop your network of mentors, allies, and coaches. These are people who will uplift you, champion you, and guide you as you move through your career.

When these steps are put into practice, when you are being proactive, what does it look like? Thriving looks like standing in your purpose and owning your own journey. Thriving is feeling energized. It looks like scheduling writing sessions in your calendar in advance. You’re booking—and keeping—dinner plans with friends. You’re getting daily exercise and preparing healthy meals. You’re sleeping well. You know where you’re headed with your career and you appreciate the opportunity you have to get there. 

You deserve more than just ‘surviving’ the graduate school experience. Thriving in academia is possible, but it takes clarity, support, and a strategy. If you’re ready to move from just getting by to building a career that truly fulfills you, let’s talk—book a free discovery call.

Next week: Lost the spark? How to get your fire back when feeling unmotivated